Rooms in The Afterlife

• A Bright White Portal - The light warms your soul with an unbefore known joy as the portal gently transports you across the karma plane to collect your eternal reward. Your body relaxes in the security of knowing all your efforts of striving to be a good person did not go to waste.
• A Deep Red Hole - Heat causes spikes of pain to shoot through you as the deep red hole sucks you down into its murky depths. You feel an urgent need to pray, terrified of the tortures you will surely face when you leave the portal and begin your search for a fitting punishment to all your evil mortal deeds.
• A Gold Portal - This gold portal, largely unused, is for the brave souls who wish to undertake the ardous task of reincarnation. When you leave this tunnel you will re-enter earth and life in a new body, possibly not a human one. Although they say you will have no memories of your prior life, who is to say you wouldn't spend all eternity trapped in the lice ridden fur of some mangy old dog?
• A Path of Clouds - Donner dodges Blaze's attack. Donner dodges Blaze's attack. Donner dodges Blaze's attack. Donner dodges Blaze's attack. Blaze DEVASTATES Donner with his incredible HIT!! Donner sends shockwaves towards Blaze. Donner sends shockwaves towards Tayn. Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner tries to MAULS you, but misses. Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner MUTILATES you with his MAULS!! Donner MAULS you extremely hard. Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner MUTILATES you with his MAULS!! Donner rips apart the fabric of time and space A Bright White Portal The light warms your soul with an unbefore known joy as the portal gently transports you across the karma plane to collect your eternal reward. Your body relaxes in the security of knowing all your efforts of striving to be a good person did not go to waste.
• A Path of Clouds - The path of clouds continues here. To your west you see flames flickering from candles in Happy Birthday. To the north is the entrance to Lost and found. The clouds continue to your south.
• A Path of Clouds - The path of clouds continues here. To your west you see flames flickering from candles in Happy Birthday. To the north is the entrance to Lost and found. The clouds continue to your south.
• A Path of Clouds - The path begins to thin here. Below you can see the sparkling glow emitted from the various portal chambers as souls embark their journey into the afterlife. A huge scratching post tells you It's a Cat's Life is to your east, and smoke coming from a chimney to the west leads you in that direction. The end of the path appears to be to your south.
• A Path of Clouds - The Path of Clouds abruptly ends here. To your east the candy cane fence of Sugar Savannas begs you to visit and to the south a dark but inviting tunnel can be seen. Above you can make out the arched entry way of the complaint department.
• A View of the Planet - From here you can see a breathtaking view of the planet you once inhabited as a human. The possibility that you may not return as one suddenly enters your head. They say it's a cat's life, but would a cat's life really be all that great? It's not too late to reconsider this, is it?
• A Walkway of Stars - The walkway seems to disperse and the stars scatter around you. They have other souls waiting to come down this path. You hear someone scream "Bingo" from nearby.
• Angel-for-a-day Workshop - One of the few bummers about heaven is you can't become an angel immediately. In fact, a soul must undergo centuries worth of training before earning a halo. To accomodate those souls who want to see what it's like to be an angel without all the grueling training, this angel-for-a-day workshop was devised. Here veteran angels take newly blessed souls out for test flights. The wings are clipped, the miracles are minor, and the halos don't shine quite so brightly, but the experience does give you a glimpse of the real thing.
• Another Man's Shoes - Important life lession: Be careful what you wish for. The envious souls imprisoned in this little slice of Hell spent their discontented lives muttering, "Man, I'd love to be in his shoes," never realizing that demons were listening to their petty whinings. Now they are spending eternity literally imprisoned in another man's smelly, unsanitary footwear.
• At The Karma Station - Large glowing portals cast a bright light upon the room as you take your place in line. People are talking in hushed tones as they dart glances around the room fearful of which portal they will be instructed to enter. You hear someone scream in agony as they close their eyes and walk into the deep red hole to the east, while to your west, a small girl squeals with joy as she dives into the bright white portal. Above you see a gold portal which everyone seems to be ignoring.
• Bikini Beach Barbecue! - Like the typical lust-filled newcomer to Bikini Beach, you can't believe you are in Hell. After all it _looks_ like a typical bikini beach with bodacious babes and hunks a plenty. Of course this _is_ Hell, so there's a catch. Every time you begin to think impure thoughts, impossible to avoid in such a setting, your genitals literally burst into flames. Many of the damned here, having been burned once too often, choose to lie face down in the sand, roasting their backs raw in an attempt to avoid temptation.
• Castaways - You are in the Healing Temple of Delos, where clerics of Isis work their powers with her blessing on all those in need of care. A feeling of peace and tranquility washes over you in waves like warm water on a cool night. Soft mats and cots are scattered around the room, as well as jars giving off an herbal fragrance that wafts through the room.
• Dates From Hell - As you prepare for your date from hell, you think "Dates from Hell?" "How bad can it be? I've had a few of those in my life". Well no, you havent. The worst date you've ever had is a night of incomparable bliss compared to the genuine date from hell you will be going on now.
• Deadman's Curve - The highways of Hell are used to punish envious souls who just can't be happy with what they have. The damned here are given a clunky old rental car (with no stereo or air of course), an out-of-date map, and vague directions that supposedly lead out of Hell. Once you hit good ole Route 666 though, you will be permanently stuck in a never ending traffic jam. If you could just sit still it would be ok, but your nature causes you to switch lanes at the drop of a hat, snarling traffic even further.
• Dreamadise - "..to sleep, perchance to dream." Souls fortunate enough to stumble upon dreamadise have the opportunity to sleep away the millenia, replaying their favorite dreams over and over again. If their own dreams become too boring, the blessed can try one of the trillions of recorded dreams the Angels have on file.
• Entering the Afterlife - Large glowing portals cast a bright light upon the room as you take your place in line. People are talking in hushed tones as they dart glances around the room fearful of which portal they will be instructed to enter. You hear someone scream in agony as they close their eyes and walk into the deep red hole to the east, while to your west, a small girl squeals with joy as she dives into the bright white portal. Above you see a gold portal which everyone seems to be ignoring.
• Entering the Karma Plane - You need more time to think about this strange place so you drift again on the Karma Plane. You see the Karma Station in the distance to the east, while in all other directions, the plane continues.
• Envy Aid - The Envy Aid concerts have been bouncing around Heaven, in one form or another, since sentients begain rhythmically banging sticks together and calling it "music". These never-ending shows feature the most musically gifted souls ever to pluck, strum, blow, beat, or shake an instrument, which alone would be enough to make them pretty cool. But since this is heaven, the contented blessed are encouraged to join the performers onstage, where they quickly discover that they're just as talented as their musical idols!
• Faux Heaven - Many of the slothful damned believe they deserve to be in heaven, little realizing that their lazy ways have earned them their rightful place in Hell. Faux Heaven is for these self-deluded souls, a cheesy replica of Heaven. It's just like the real Heaven, except it sucks.
• Floating along the Karma Plane - The Karma Plane appears to be a a gathering ground for souls afraid to find out what The Demiurge would have in store for them in the afterlife. Instead they wander here trying to find their peace with death. You know some of these souls will become ghosts, haunting their memories forever.
• Floating along the Karma Plane - The Plane continues here, dark except for the glow coming from your east. You have the option of re-entering the Karma Station to begin anew your search for eternal rewards and just desserts, or you may continue to float along the Plane.
• Floating along the Karma Plane - The Karma Plane appears to be a a gathering ground for souls afraid to find out what The Demiurge would have in store for them in the afterlife. Instead they wander here trying to find their peace with death. You know some of these souls will become ghosts, haunting the memories of the life they once had.
• Floating along the Karma Plane - The Karma Plane appears to be a a gathering ground for souls afraid to find out what The Demiurge would have in store for them in the afterlife. Instead they wander here trying to find their peace with death. You know some of these souls will become ghosts, haunting their memories forever.
• Floating on the Karma Plane - You peek south and see, The Karma Plane appears to be a a gathering ground for souls afraid to find out what The Demiurge would have in store for them in the afterlife. Instead they wander here trying to find their peace with death. You know some of these souls will become ghosts, haunting the memories of the life they once had.
• Floating on the Karma Plane - This portion of the Karma Plane hums with an electric buzz. The source of the sound is the karma track running directly below you. Upon closer inspection, this track appears to be used by souls returning to The Planet for reincarnation.
• Following a Trail of Energy - A burst of light suddenly hits your eyes blinding you for a moment As your vision returns you see the track has reached it's end. Joy fills your soul, knowing you will soon be able to return to The Planet.
• Following a Trail of Energy - The track pulls you along at a nice leisurely pace, allowing you to get a good look around you. Too bad there isn't anything to see along the trip. The dark space seems to close around you, making you pray you find a way to get off soon.
• Following a Trail of Energy - The track pulls you along at a nice leisurely pace, allowing you to get a good look around you. Too bad there isn't anything to see along the trip. The dark space seems to close around you, making you pray you find a way to get off soon.
• Hall of Chaos - As you enter this vast hall, you realize this is certainly not an ordinary church. The floor within the hall stands empty, and the darkness and fear press thickly around you and your light, until it seems only to give off a faint glow to prevent the darkness from engulfing you. As you walk around, examining the room with this faint light, you see vast tapestries decorating the walls. However, unlike most tapestries, these display the carnage of wars rather than celebrate the victories, and glorify assassins embraced by shadows around women weeping over dead kings, and one even shows the chaotic and stomach-churning feeding of a group of vampires. As you glance away from these grizzly images your eyes pass over a small shelf, decorated with small, intricately detailed dolls. As you examine further, you shudder to realize they are VooDoo dolls, with one for each of the members within Clan DusK. As you continue to explore the hall, avoiding the dolls, you find exits only on the north wall, one leading back to the entryway, and the other leading to a stairway going down.
• Happy Birthday! - It's a sad fact of life that most of us don't receive our fair allotment of five-star, over-the-top, utterly decadent birthday parties. In Happy Birthday this inequity is recitifed. It is always someone's birthday and everyone is always invited.
• Heaven's Complaint Department - It's perfectly reasonable to expect souls to have an occasional complaint about the nature of their eternal reward, which is why this complaint department is here, staffed with peaceful souls. Fortunately, it's a pretty slow-paced job, leaving the peaceful blessed a lot of free time to chat around the water cooler or play computer games.
• High School - Here in this portion of hell, the damned must constantly repeat grades nine through twelve because of an error on their permanent records. To make matters worse, they keep showing up to school in their underwear.
• Highway in Hell - You start to panic as you realize the directions you were given are faulty. Route 666 is nowhere in sight! A horrible stench assaults your sense of smell, it seems to be coming from the west. The sound of something burning can be heard to the east.
• Highway in Hell - The directions you were given indicate Route 666 is on the other side of the universe, yet there it is, overe to your west. A restaurant stands off to the east, inviting you inside. Above you a plane appears to be making it's final boarding call.
• His Omnipotence's Office - The breathtaking calmness overwhelmes you as you gaze upon The cosmic wonder that is The Omnipotent One's office. You can feel, rather than see the walls that ensure his privacy. All around you are stars shooting off into the distance, comets racing across space, what an incredible existence this truly must be.
• Hog Heaven - Temperate souls who end up in Hog Heaven can spend eternity living high off the hog - literally! Meat of all sorts grows from trees in this fleshy orchard, allowing life-long vegetarians to finally experience the rapture of a carnivorous lifestyle without the shame of killing innocent little animals.
• Hope Springs Eternal Spas - The Hope Springs Eternal Spas are perfect if you just need a good place to unwind after your long and ardous life. Many souls spend decades here just lolling about in the milk baths of Human Kindness but there is also the forbidden fruit juice bar, the dust to dust mud facials, and of course the onniversally renowned Hope Springs Eternal, which washes away every last scrap of stress accumulated in your previous life.
• Ignorance Ain't Bliss - The lustful souls that populate this quiet city want for nothing, all of their needs are provided for by unusually helpful demons. However, the price they pay for their comfort is ignorance. When they acknowledge the presence of any other being, powerful electric shocks are sent through their bodies, teaching them the error of their ways. In time, they learn to walk around with their heads down and hands in their pockets, lest they inadvertently make contact with another.
• Illuminatiland - One of a handful of phony Heavens that dot the landscape of Hell, this is the most nefarious. It seems like the real thing to the incarcerated but after a while they begin to suspect that things "Just ain't right". They see conspiracies operating just out of the corner of their eyes, and shows lurking where none were present before. When the damned try to tell their friends about the "Big Lie", they are mysteriously intercepted by the "Men in Black". Eventually, they collapse into a gibbering paranoia.
• It's a Cat's Life - Cats choose. Unlike their doggie brethren, who can be programmed like robots, cats make up their own minds whether to chase a ball, purr, or scratch your sofa. A cat's life is an idea reward for a lifetime of diligence. Souls can choose whether to be pampered, milk fed kitties who live high off the hog, or to run away, living the tough as nails afterlife of a stray.
• Just Desserts - As Larry put the finishing touches on his Degradation Gizmo, The Powers That Be appeared on his doorstep. "You are the single biggest schmuck in all of Creation", they glowered. "You have found no joy in Heaven and know no pain in Hell. We are left with only one choice, to reincarnate you - as a rock. As the universe's only sentient rock, you will be unable to see, hear, smell, taste or feel. You will be a thing of pure thought, unable to experience anything but your own ever increasing dementia. Have a nice day!"
• Lucifer's All-U-Must Eat - At this buffet style restaraunt, patrons are encouraged (by cattle prod-wielding demons, no less) to go back for seconds. And thirds and thousandths. You'd be amazed how much food you can eat until you literally explode.
• Lust Freezers - Those who allowed the heat of their physical passions rule over their hearts and heads are here condemned to spend all of eternity in a giant freezer, with only their guilty thoughts to keep them warm.
• Out of the Frying Pan - You find yourself next to a huge fire. The largest frying pan you have ever seen is poised above it, filled with screaming souls. They appear to be jumping from the pan into the fire, and then back into the pan over and over while demons watch from a distance. A discarded diary lies here.
• Pennants Over Perdition - There is a theory formed by a former theme park employee, that there is only so much happiness in the Universe, and in order for someone to be really and truly happy, someone else must be really and truly miserable. This theory certainly holds true here at Pennants Over Perdition Theme Park. The demonic guests of the park are deliriously amused by the parks rides, games, and shows. On the other hand, the parks employees, the slothful damned, are so unhappy that they often throw themselves on the tracks of the "Big Chunder" rollercoaster, only to discover that they can't be killed OR fired.
• Picnicville - Only the afterlife could bring you the picnic that never ends, thanks to a revolutionary (on earth impossible) bottomless picnic basket, which is constantly dispensing surprising and wonderful picnic fare. Eat too much? No worry, souls don't gain weight.
• Radical Malls - There are some significant differences between this shopping mall and the ones you are used to: 1. Here there is no such thing as shop til you drop. Souls can shop forever with little or no discomfort. 2. This shopping mall has every store, shop, restaurant, and boutique that ever existed along with several million that NEVER existed. 3. Here you can always find what you're looking for, even if you dont know what it is. And the best part? Your credit is always good here.
• Route 666 - This dreary intersection has long tall flames for lightposts yet it is still hard to see. You hear sounds from a theme park to your south, While you might be able to find a date to your west. The highway from Hell is behind you to the south.
• Route 666 - Gravity seems to pull you down as you begin to drag yourself further down road. You can live a blissful afterlife to your west or in the east there is a walkway onto a large tongue. Route 666 continues to the north and south.
• Route 666 - It would appear that Route 666 comes to an end here, as in front of you is a wall of firey flame where the road should be. You can revisit your high school days to your east. If you should happen to get caught by the school bulley, you can always go visit St. Elsescare, it's the best hospital to be found.
• St. Elsescare - Few things in life are as humiliating as a stay in a hospital. In Hell the hospitals are infinitely worse. The surgeries are unneccessary, unclean, and unanesthetized. The nurses are ugly, rude and given to performing surprise enemas at a moment's notice. And we won't even get into the food...
• Sweet Sugar Savannas - The sickeningly sweet sugar savannas are something of a "classic" attraction in the contented persons afterlife. Frankly, the Temperate Blessed seem to easily tire of these cities made of candy, but everyone expects them to be here, so what can you do?
• The Audio Improving Embophone - Standing on the balcony of his Vista Enhancement Doohicky, the Angel Larry was happier than he had been for hundreds of years. Suddenly, a chorus of harps broke into a musical jam session of hallelujahs and hosannas, each one infinitely more melodius than the next. They are slightly out of tune Larry complained, and decided he better do something about it. Weeks later, he unveiled this Audio Improving Embophone, which has the ability to make every sound within a hundred mile radius bounce off the eardrums like a caress. The Powers That Be arched their eyebrows.
• The Big Tease - Most of the Lust punishments here in hell simply shut off, dull, or otherwise impede the damned's physical senses. Here in The Big Tease however, you are allowed full access to your carnal sensations, you just aren't allowed to do anything with them. Through a clever program of strip teases, pornographic movies, and cold showers, you are kept in a state of perpetual horniness that slowly and methodically drives you mad (and blind!).
• The Creamy Candy Castle - While enjoying the heavenly aromas from his Atomizer, Larry decided to buy a hot dog from an angel floating by. After taking a bite, he knew his work was not yet completed. Twenty seven days later, this Creamy Candy Castle was erected, making any food taste absolutely perfect. The Powers That Be sent Larry a memo applauding his efforts, but warning him about his bad attitude.
• The Crinkly Cacophony Contrivance - As vile, traumatic visions flickered from the depths of his Ugliness Engine, Larry still knew no satisfaction. "It looks awful, but it's still not very spooky", he thought to himself. As he frowned, dozens of banshees appeared out of nowhere. They screeched, yelled, and even whispered the cruelest songs directly into Larry's defenseless eardrums to no avail. "The music down here is no worse than your average Michael Bolton concert, I must fix that." By suppertime this contrivance was completed, a colossal antimusical instrument that could make even the subtlest of sounds hit the eardrums like nails on a chalkboard. The Powers That Be took a long lunch to discuss strategies.
• The Demiurge's Plaza - The Demiurge's Plaza is marked by millions of small glowing orbs hovering just below you like warm cushions of air. A somber feeling wafts in the air makes you wonder if you should be here. The relative safety of the Karma Plane behind you seems inviting. The Plaza continues to the west.
• The Demiurge's Plaza - The orbs beneath your feet, once warm and soft, now become icicly cold, the chill seems to get worse if you move towards the south. A large sign trimmed in gold hovers here in mid-air. It Proclaims boldly - Avoid The Noid!
• The Eternal Afternoon - Donner MUTILATES you with his MAULS!! Donner INJURES you with his MAULS. Donner INJURES you with his MAULS. Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner hits Tayn with a shockwave! Donner MAULS you extremely hard. Donner INJURES you with his MAULS. Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner MAULS you with his MAULS!! Donner rips apart the fabric of time and space A Path of Clouds The path continues southward. Music from The Perfect Party draws your attention to the east, while the peaceful tranquility from The Eternal Afternoon lures you to the west.
• The Final Frontier - The ultimate reward for adventurous souls is a one-way ticket into the Great Unknown. It's a dicey existence, trying to make an afterlife for one's self in the vast, unexplored territories beyond Heaven and Hell, but who better to tame the wilderness?
• The Flabbergasting Flatulence Olfactory - The screaming and moaning of the damned did little to brighten Larry's mood. "They seem to be suffering, but how can they with a Hell so pleasant as this?", he pondered. As if in answer to his question, a cadre of arch-demons strode onto the scene, squashing all in their path. They sat next to his Ugliness Engine and began to eat burritos made from long dead animals and other icky stuff, farting merrily until Larry interrupted. "If you want something stinky, check this out!" Working quickly, he soon patched together this factory, capable of making the sweetest rose smell like a dead skunk. The Powers That Be realized what needed to be done.
• The Fluffy Comfort Dispenser - High atop his Creamy Candy Castle, Larry had at long last found peace. "Everything i see, hear, smell, and taste is PERFECT, I can finally settle down and enjoy Heaven!" he thought to himself. Slowly, he lowered himself down onto his throne, ergonomically designed by the finest chiropractors who had ever lived, covered in plush velvet. "It's like sitting on broken glass" he whined. Within mere hours, Larry was putting the finishing touches on this Dispenser to enhance the tactical sensations of everything around it. As he tied the last stitch, he was startled to find The Powers That Be behind him. They were not happy. They cast the ungrateful angel into Hell
• The Heaven Scent Atomizer - Relaxing in the study of his Embophone, Larry marveled at what he had wrought. "Everything I see and hear is perfect!" he proclaimed. Outside a jillion flowers spontaneously bloomed, releasing a heady aroma evocative of all that is right with the Universe. Of course, this only served to upset Larry. "Don't these seraphim know anything about nasal passages?" Within a few days, he constructed this Heaven Scent Atomizer, a device capable of perfecting all aromas within it's range of powerful purple pumps. The Powers That Be were slightly annoyed.
• The Noid - The Noid is nothing more than a swirling vortex of darkness. It is rumored that souls have disappeared in here, never to be seen again. Why so surprised? Were you expecting the noid to resemble the guy who turned your pizza cold?
• The Noid - You have become trapped in the swirling noid. You now have all of eternity to think about how important it is to read signs.
• The Noid - You have become trapped in the swirling noid. You now have all of eternity to think about how important it is to read signs.
• The Noid - You have become trapped in the swirling noid. You now have all of eternity to think about how important it is to read signs.
• The Office of the Powers That Be - Before you stands the ominous office of the Powers That Be. It is here within these walls that the fate of the world is discussed. A rather large oval table dominates the room, although strangely enough there are no chairs surrounding it. A golden plaque on the wall catches your eye.
• The Road to Happiness - You exit the Tunnels of Love to find yourself walking along the Road to Happiness. Beautifully colored butterflies fly about your, urging you to find and select your eternal reward. The road continues into the horizon on your east.
• The Road to Happiness - A rainbow brightens your day here on the road to happiness. Rewards to your virtuous life lie all around you. Sure enough, there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I mean come on, would you expect anything less?
• The Tactile Degradation Gizmo - Looking out over the screaming, exploding, vomiting masses, Larry felt no joy. Suddenly, barbed chains appeared out of nowhere and hooked themselves into his flesh. With a sudden yank, most of his skin was pulled off his body, leaving his innards exposed to the sulfurous air. "Not bad, but have you ever tried to sleep on a motel hide-a-bed?", he winced. So off he went, building this Tactile Degradation Gizmo.
• The Ugliness Engine - Being kicked out of Heaven did nothing for Larry's attitude problem. "Hell? Don't make me laugh. This is a veritable walk in the park comapared to the problems in Heaven." As he spoke, phantasms of 33 unspeakable tableaus wafted into view. A horrible crunching noise began as thousands of damned souls dug out their own eyeballs rather than witness the horrible visions. "Good Grief! You want scary, I'll show you scary!", Larry screamed. A short period later, the ribbon was cut on this Ugliness Engine, an infernal machine making everything in it's vicinity really, REALLY, bad on the eyes. The Powers That Be shook their collective heads.
• The Vista Enhancement Doohicky - A long time ago, in a celestial plane far, far away, there was an angel named Larry. Now larry was something of a misfit. While all the other cherubim and seraphim were perfectly content with the wonders of Heaven, Larry would find fault with everything. "That sunset's too red", These bon-bons aren't chocolatey enough", he'd mope. So he decided to do something about it. First he built this Vista Enhancement Doohicky, which made everything within a 10 mile radius look even more perfect than before. The Powers That Be were impressed.
• The Wellspring of Unsavoriness - As you might expect, Larry was still not impressed with the punitive measures in Hell. As he announced this, the chow bell rang out. As the damned crammed white hot shards of glass down their throats, Larry yawned. Cracking his knuckles, he quickly brewed up this Well of Unsavoriness, a twisted cauldron that causes all foodstuff within it's influence to be totally inedible. The Powers That Be prepared to make their move.
• Tip of Your Tongue - You know that maddening feeling you get when the next word is hanging on the tip of your tongue, but your brain just can't get it's mental fingers arund it? Okay, now stretch that sensation out over infinity, and imagine everyone around you having the same problem, and you will understand exactly what is going on in this strange place.
• Tunnels of Love - It's dark, romantic, and a little spooky as you walk into the tunnel of love. A palm tree from Castaways sways in the breeze to your east and to the south the tunnels continue.
• Tunnels of Love - You are in the Healing Temple of Delos, where clerics of Isis work their powers with her blessing on all those in need of care. A feeling of peace and tranquility washes over you in waves like warm water on a cool night. Soft mats and cots are scattered around the room, as well as jars giving off an herbal fragrance that wafts through the room.
• United Siblinghood of Angels - You find yourself inside the USA (United Siblinghood of Angels) office. Typically, angels have good working relationships with their bosses, The Powers That Be. Occasionally though, the USA will have a grievance that needs to be worked out. It takes a supremely peaceful soul to negotiate with The Powers That Be, even angels can be vexed by their enigmatic natures. Fortunately, the USA are so serene that they can patiently apply pressure on behalf of the souls for centuries without breaking a sweat.
• north and see, - You peek north and see, Inside the Church Just within the doors, you feel the static energy intensify, as if the source were just beyond the reach of your light. You are in a short hallway with doors leading off in each direction, as well as a spiral stairway leading up to the belfry. Through the double doors to the south, you see a great hall, while to the east is a small room with what seems to be lights of shifting color passing through the doorway. Through the small room to the west appears to be what was once a nursery, and back to the north is the way out, and a feeling of safety.
• up and see, - You peek up and see, Welcome to Your Flightmare You board a plane. The demon next to you has bad breath and wants to sell you a set of gold-plated lawn jockeys. You move to another seat, only to be confronted with a little old lady demon who is strangely compelled to tell the life stories of her 200 grandchildren to anyone within earshot. You switch seats again and again, only to find all the passengers are boring, obnoxious demons. Return your mind to it's fully upright and locked position and remember to put your sanity in the overhead storage compartment until the plane comes to a complete stop (which it never does).
• up and see, - You peek up and see, Like a Moth to Flames Many mortals posses an unhealthy fascination with mythological creatures of the night. Here, these ebon-clad, sickly looking folk (and anyone stupid like you who walk in) get to find out how "cool" and "romantic" it really is to be a vampire, ghoul or wandering spirit.